None Of The Above

“Why is it when there’s trouble we’re the ones that get into it? I mean, there’s a bar full of people and we’re the only ones in jail.”
–Monty Brewster (Brewster’s Millions)

You know, I can probably trace my love of movies back to my grandmother. It must be something in the blood. When I was a kid, she worked the box office at the movie theater. Each summer, I’d get to see a few free movies when she’d let my little sister and me up into the balcony of the theater for a matinee show.

One of those movies was Brewster’s Millions, starring Richard Pryor. This was 1985, so I already knew Pryor from Superman III a couple years before. In Brewster’s Millions, which also featured John Candy, Pryor had to spend $30 million in 30 days in order to inherit $300 million.

One of the ways he spent some of that money was by running a political campaign urging people to vote for “None of the above.” The Film Frontier is all about escapism, so I usually try not to get too political here. However, some people may decide that “None of the above” is a better choice than the current slate of US Presidential candidates.

Of course, theaters are totally different now. Balconies are gone, screens are smaller, and the teenie boppers at the box office are nothing like my grandmother. I miss her, and I miss those days.

* * *

Speaking of the good old days, do you remember Little Debbie’s Spice Cakes? They stopped making them years ago. They were always my favorite, which is probably why they had to stop production.

Because I’m just that kind of guy, I actually checked with McKee Foods, owner of Little Debbie, about their missing Spice Cakes not too long ago. They advised me that they were discontinued due to low sales and suggested I find another favorite Little Debbie snack. Sorry, that is not going to happen!

Maybe someday, McKee’s marketing department will wake up and see the potential goldmine of a campaign based on bringing back Little Debbie’s original snack cake – even if “for a limited time only.”

I’d buy the stores out and freeze them for posterity (“I was saving that Spice Cake!”). Until then, my favorite will have to be “None of the above” as far as their current selections go.